Loren Parks tells JC Patriot how to get frigid American women

The good General over at Patriot Boy has noticed our work here at LO, specifically regarding GOP moneybags Loren Parks. The General even went so far as to write Parks a fan letter:

I have been asked to do a baby shower show (late teen
> and early 20's all 18+). I am asking everyone I know
> for some ideas that would make some good skits.
>
> If you have any Ideas please let me know.

Not being one to pass up the chance to give out advice, Parks replies:

You gotta be kidding....... start with eyes closed, Race car, motorcycle, horsie. Eyes open - smells, stinky, good, sexy. Hallucinations - Pants missing, Crowd naked, hypno breast enlarger gun..... You know where this is going...... something else,
whatever.... ORGASMS ORGASMS ORGASMS !!!

They will LOVE YOU!!!! Believe Me, the Women want ORGASMS !! Also, it is SURE.FIRE.NEVER.MIS! SES! no matter what.

With all this work helping men learn to hypnotize women into thinking they're Mickey Mouse so the women will have sex with them,I don't know how Parks has time to write checks to Kevin Mannix. Not to mention the wingers at Oregonians In Action and Oregon Family Farm Preservation PAC.

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase dirty money, doesn't it?