Friday, April 28, 2006

Candidates Gone Apey, or Goofy, or Something

Wild! That was it! Candidates Gone Wild. The time is nigh for a night of putting otherwise "normal" politicians through their paces while the crowd quickly grows drunk. See, if we get to see them acting foolish, and our memories are booze-hazy exactly on the details of those acts, then everybody wins. You know how a drunk guy gets all friendly and puts his arm around you and yells in your ear, "Yooknow, I really love you, man," whether you're a girl or a guy and whether or not you've met him before? That's the vibe the candidates are hoping you'll take from their often shameless displays--remembered fondly if not always accurately.

It's actually quite the Portland political event, and frankly I've never lived in another town where the candidates subjected themselves to it, AND they served beer. (That it's the best beer in the country produced right here is a given, but woe betide should I ever take that for granted. I've lived in towns where "micro" still means Michelob Ultra.) And this year Carla and I will be close to the spatter zone, viewing with the keen eye of the blogalist.

So what's the deal with this shindig? May 1st--next Monday--at 8pm, Roseland Theater on Burnside and West 5th. When was the last time Ginny Burdick and Dave Lister hung out in that part of town, I wonder? And the City Grill doesn't count. It's $3 to get inside, and they'll charge you more money for other goods or services you may desire. Speaking of, if you really want to start a tradition of Candidates Gone Wild, after the gig they can pick up some wine from that corner grocery,
score a variety of soft or hard drugs less than a block away, and settle in for a long night of tossing dollars onto a stripclub stage. It's a little late in the game, but I'll go ahead and pass along the suggestion. I've got to be candid; it might not happen until next year.