Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Severe Storm

Not being big into network TV, I sometimes miss out on the pop culture phenoms that make up the water cooler buzz.

Last night I discovered that I've been keeping myself away from something exceptional.

I decided to tune in to CBS' RockStar: Supernova after reading about local rocker chick Storm Large during one of my typical morning news trolls at the O online.

No wonder this chick is packing Dante's. She's fanfuckingtastic.

Few people that know me in person would believe this, but I'm somewhat of a closeted metal head (I have an appearance like your local Republican girl-next-door, I'm told). So when Storm struts out in her thigh highs and mini skirt with that edged out makeup and wild-eyed, manic appearance--she had me from note one. Her take on "Anything, anything" by Dramarama was jaw dropping good.

The Rockstar:Supernova show itself? Terrible. I mean really, really awful.

Who told Tommy Lee he's TV material? The guy looks like he hasn't bathed in a month. And I like a tatoo as much as the next girl..but Lee looks like a kindergarten art show on acid.

Former GunsNRoses guitartist Gilby Clark creeps me out. Every time the camera goes to him..all I can think of is "serial killer". And I don't know if Metallica bassist Jason Newsted fried his brain with drugs or if he's always been stupid and inarticulate. Either way, it ain't pretty.

The only one who seems to be able to string two sentences together is Dave Navarro.

Worst of all though is Brooke Burke. I'm sure she's there as the window dressing. But that's all she is. CBS could turn the audio completely off and her contribution would be roughly the same.