Homophobic OR CEO: Grass, not Ass!

Tell the truth--when you hear the name of Salem/Independence-based OutsidePride, Inc., it sounds for all the world like a company that makes rainbow flags or something, doesn't it? Actually, they make grass--the less fun kind that goes on a lawn--and based on a letter sent by President Troy Hake (which I confirmed by calling the company), they'd sooner shut down than sponsor a pride festival:

This is not your typical newsletter from Outsidepride.com, Inc. In fact, this is the first one in six years which is not business related. I apologize for cluttering your inbox with an unsolicited email; however you are free to unsubscribe just by clicking the link at the bottom.
I want to share with you my television viewing experience the other night on prime time television. I ask those of you who agree with me to go to www.cbs.com and go to the bottom of the page, click the feedback link and express your opinion. I know the vast majority of you will agree with me as all polls indicate. We are the majority, not the minority as the liberal media would lead you to believe.

My wife and I sat down to watch television the other night with our children. Cold Case was on which is normally a fairly enjoyable show to watch; however, the last half hour of the show dealt with a young man who wished he had asked his male friend to come with him (long story short). The show ended with the two men hugging and obvious intimation they had discovered their gay feelings towards each other. The very next show was Without A Trace. The whole last half hour of this show was about two lesbians who were struggling with their feelings of lesbianism. It ended with full acceptance from one father and the two lesbians making out. Yes, they were kissing right at the end of the show on public prime time television. So much for wholesome family television.

Now, I am NOT trying to bash homosexuals and I am not a bigot; however, I feel homosexuality is morally wrong and should not be "promoted" as what is the norm for society. Text books are being rewritten as I am writing this to "highlight" every homosexual who has made a contribution to society. There are teachers who have been asked to make sure students know that, "This person in history was a homosexual." History is being rewritten to promote homosexuality and prime time television is doing its best to make homosexuality a "normal" behavior. If homosexuality was the norm, civilization would have ceased to exist thousands of years ago. Procreation takes a man and a woman. There was Adam and then there was Eve, not Adam and Steve.

There are literally tens of thousand of you reading this email right now. If you are tired of the way public television is going let CBS know! It will only take about 1 minute of your time. Again, just go to www.cbs.com and click the feedback link at the bottom. It is time the majority speak up and not let the minority run this country. The majority can bring back the Christian heritage this country was founded on because it is, "In God We Trust."

Thank you for your time,

Troy Hake
President
Outsidepride.com, Inc.

Obviously the letter's a fairly standard version of "I'm not a bigot, but here's why I hate gays for being gay" social conservativsm, but there are some curious questions that arise:

• Who expects to get a gaybashing email polemic from the guy that sells you fescue? I suppose he knows his customers, and many of them will nod in agreement as they read it, but typically one of the first rules in business is don't be controversial and don't open yourself up to potentially bad publicity. Given that I pulled this from the most popular political website in the world, good luck getting the toothpaste back into the tube on that one.
  
  
• Note the not-so-clever conflation of opposing same-sex marriage with being repulsed by gay affection or themes, and feeling under seige knowing gay people exist--"I know the vast majority of you will agree with me as all polls indicate."
  
  
• Two men hugging is perverse, two women kissing an abomination. But apparently for Mr. Hake's kids, violence-themed shows like Cold Case and Without a Trace are just dandy!
  
  
• If anyone has one of those "Great Fags in History" textbooks he's talking about, please let me know which bookstore carries them. I always wondered if Charlemagne was penetrating more than the Turks' defenses, if you know what I mean.
  
  
• Why does he want us to complain to CBS about what's on "public television?"
  

Fun and games aside, this is a disheartening reminder that Oregon's status as Gayvana is definitely not absolute. If you'd like to register a comment with Mr. Hake and OutsidePride, you can call them toll-free at 877-255-8470. And start getting your grass from another dealer.