Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Greg, Kevin. Kevin, Greg--Compare them Blogolistically!

I'm pretty sure 'blogolistically' isn't even a word, but what's having your own blog if you can't make up your own words?

As most of the sentient portion of Oregon is aware, the Blazers have scored first pick in this month's NBA Draft. The global consensus is that they should choose either C Greg Oden from Ohio State, or F Kevin Durant of Texas, the only two "gold-plated locks" on the board in the eyes of most. Amazingly, both are freshman and will spend only one year at college before making the jump to the pros.

There are any number of ways to compare the players in order to decide which one to pick, and I'm sure Blazers GM Kevin Pritchard can think of little else these days. But maybe there's one window on their souls that he hasn't opened: their blogs.

For instance, here's Oden's. It's been confirmed that it really is him, and he's written several posts already, starting from Lottery Day. He's no Wordsworth, but he seems to have a very mature sense about where he is, where he's going, and what's about to happen to him.

Most observers seem to think that Oden will be the pick, including The O's Jason Quick, who has been pushing the case since the #1 was secured. This hasn't sat well with Kevin Durant...or at least the person who has responded with a blog entitled "Draft Kevin Durant." At this point it's more about breaking through the Greg Oden mystique than anything else, which is nice--because the author has a funny, sarcastic presentation. For instance, here's his take on Oden's high school picture:
(If you've never seen Oden, you probably don't get the joke. That's actually Bill Russell--who is 73 years old now--above. Oden is 19, but he probably hasn't been carded since he was 6):
It works a little better in the original context, but it's still clever enough. And he's even got a to-do list set up for Pritchard:
Attention Kevin Pritchard: Draft Kevin Durant! Draft Kevin Durant! Draft Kevin Durant! Draft Kevin Durant! Eat a peanut butter sandwich. Draft Kevin Durant!
Greg might want to think about getting a co-author before this gets out of hand. They call it the #2 pick, but going to Seattle is like winning the Albanian lottery, and surely neither player wants that kind of kick to the ego-crotch. Don't let it happen to you, Greg--start making shit up about how Durant hates coffee and microbrews, and couldn't live anywhere that they allow people to dance nude. Fight fire with fire, I say!