Friday, March 16, 2007

Some goombah needs to go to LA and break this guy's computer



For a very long time, Los Angeles has been turning into a shithole. The people are rude and pretentious, parking in most places is a nightmare, and the cost of living is driving all of the cool artists, struggling actors, and aspiring models-cum-porn stars away to Orange County or Ventura. With rising gas prices and very little knowledge of the world outside, natives are weary to venture out in search of something better; so, most of the people in “HelLA” believe that they are trapped in a bad situation and must stay because there is nothing better outside of their precious Valley of the Dolls.

For a long time, I agreed with the consensus in regards to this matter; then, while on tour about two years ago, I discovered Portland, Oregon. Friendly people, great food, and a cost of living that is almost half of what it is in LA, where wages are quite comparable. Also, the average age is 35. Over the last year, I’ve been sauntering back and forth to the City of Roses and, with your consideration, I will provide an overview of the best that the city has to offer (for a Vegan Hipster from Los Angeles).


Portland is exceptional because it isn't at all like Los Angeles. But if boatloads of these plastics start making their way north, that's exactly what we'll get.

Maybe they'll just come for a visit. I'm hoping the rain will drive them back to California--the author doesn't mention the October-June monsoon season.

(fingers crossed)